My brother Zelazney has informed me that because of the government shutdown, bears in Glacier National Park and Yellowstone are considering defecting to Canada! Canadian officials are said to be quite worried about this.
Elsewhere, Yosemite bears are threatening to stage a rock concert/sit-in at Yosemite Falls. Oregon bears are descending upon Portland on Saturday for a vegan cookout fundraiser. Finally, bears in Washington State are planning a march on Olympia to ask the legislature to secede from the now defunct United States.