Tag Archives: humor

Parks Reopen

Our mentally challenged politicians have finally come to their senses (it won’t last) and our National Parks are now open again. Bears throughout the west are having events to celebrate.

Bears in Oregon are having a meet and greet at the Lodge at Crater Lake. Bears in California are having an interpretive dance festival at the Ahwahnee in Yosemite. Finally, Washington State bears are having a folk art festival at Hurricane Ridge on the Olympic Peninsula.

Bear defections

My brother Zelazney has informed me that because of the government shutdown, bears in Glacier National Park and Yellowstone are considering defecting to Canada! Canadian officials are said to be quite worried about this.

Elsewhere, Yosemite bears are threatening to stage a rock concert/sit-in at Yosemite Falls. Oregon bears are descending upon Portland on Saturday for a vegan cookout fundraiser. Finally, bears in Washington State are planning a march on Olympia to ask the legislature to secede from the now defunct United States.

URGENT APPEAL! Bears hurt by government shutdown

Bears in our National Parks have been furloughed as a result of the shutdown. I urge you to send food parcels to our friends in need. Please also consider hosting a bear family until this crisis is over (black bears only-we don’t recommend grizzlies). Your help is crucial for our ursine brothers and sisters in this uncertain time.

Last Will and Estimate

It is going to be a busy week at the law firm where I work as a paralegal. One of our clients, Leta the churchmouse, died recently. According to her, she had been a poor old widow with no relatives and very little money. Accordingly, we drew up a simple will leaving her estate to a half dozen charities

Apparently her definition of poor and mine are very different. She left an estate now valued at 14 million dollars. And boy are the beneficiaries sniffing at the door. I just got off the phone with a turtle from TARP (Turtle Alliance Recovery Project). His name was, can you believe it, Geithner. It is going to be a long week.